If any part of your author life feels harder than it should at the moment, it might be a story problem. No, not the actual story-you’re-working-on problem, but rather your internal story. The story you’re telling yourself…

When something’s not working or is feeling difficult, it’s easy to immediately jump to the conclusion that you need to learn a new writing or marketing technique, or just be more disciplined, or abandon ship and follow the latest trend. But what if these seemingly reasonable conclusions are not only stalling your progress, but masking something deeper standing in your way: your inner narrative?

You see, our brains are hardwired to make meaning of every experience. And this meaning-making becomes a story we tell ourselves as a way to protect us from future pain. Sometimes what may feel like “just being realistic” is really us rehearsing our disappointments… and stalling momentum. But did you know you have the power to choose the meaning you make and the story you tell? We don’t have to just accept the first thing our brains serve up. We can choose stories that keep us inspired and moving toward our author dreams instead of ones that have us questioning our life choices. 😉

I once coached someone who wanted to start a business. The problem was, he’d started a business years before and it flopped. The story he realised he’d been telling himself based on that outcome was: “I’m just not cut out for business.” And it was standing in the way of him taking any meaningful action. When he was willing to entertain the possibility of a different story — “Maybe that time wasn’t about me being successful in business, but about the things I learned that I can use now and the friends I made along the way who enrich my life to this day” — he was liberated to move forward. The facts hadn’t changed. His business had failed. But he no longer saw himself as a failure.

Here’s an example from the writing world: say Sandy and Sam both had a submission turned down. Sandy might now be feeling hopeless or incapable of ever being successful. To protect Sandy from the pain of further submission rejections, the internal story could be: “I must’ve picked the wrong genre. I obviously don’t know what I’m doing.” Now Sandy can’t get any traction because he’s scampering along the ever-evolving “hot genres” hamster wheel.

Meanwhile, Sam has chosen to adopt different internal stories: “It’s OK. I’ve got plenty of time. After all, Millard Kaufman published his first book at 90!” and “I believe in my book and there is a publishing path and a space for it out there.” Over the next few weeks, Sam sends out 30 new submissions, gets 28 more rejections and two offers, but decides to self-publish in the end.

Of course Sam’s and Sandy’s examples are overly simplistic illustrations, but you get the point. Same original situation, and yet because of the stories they believed, they each had vastly different experiences.

So how do you make this work for you? First, simply notice what’s playing in your head and ask: “Does this story motivate me to keep going? Does it keep me in a place of hope or peace or joy?” No? So what would be a more helpful story to adopt? Then rewrite the story. “I’m too old” could simply become “I’m not too old,” or even better: “I’m right on time.”

This week, I encourage you to notice your stories. If they don’t support what you want to achieve and how you want to feel while you’re achieving it, consider your very own rewrite. Just remember, when you’re used to a certain way of seeing the world, trying on a new story might not feel totally comfortable at first. But if you let it marinate, it will feel natural in time.

Join Melissa’s February Planning Sessions

Melissa is hosting live Planning Sessions for our chapter every Sunday in February at 7:30pm on Zoom. These focused, supportive sessions are designed to help you clarify your goals, map out your next steps, and stay accountable alongside fellow members.

Whether you’re refining a current project or setting fresh intentions, you’ll leave each session with a clear plan and renewed momentum.

We’d love to see you there!